marriage, relationships, love, Christianity, faith

17 Years Fast Approaching (With All the Orleans Feels)

You’re Still the One and I Wouldn’t Switch

Shocker to no one who knows me well – I’m Yacht Rock obsessed.

And fewer ‘70s, ‘80s soft rock hits capture the accuracy of this emerging season in my marriage as well as Orleans’ “Still the One.”

Show me a couple together this long that acts like they’re still in that adoration stage, and I’ll show you two pretenders.

Good chemistry certainly ought to start there, but if you don’t evolve beyond it, expect cataclysmic burnout.

What C.S. Lewis so aptly describes in The Screwtape Letters, Chapter 26:

“Yes, courtship is the time for sowing those seeds which will grow up ten years later into domestic hatred. The enchantment of unsatisfied desire produces results which the humans can be made to mistake for the results of charity. Let them think they have solved by Love problems they have in fact only waived or postponed under the influence of the enchantment.”

If I’m being honest, I was kind of a selfish jerk in the early years of my marriage, not even mature or self-aware enough yet to appreciate that G & E really broke the mold for what comprises a good and Godly man when they made and reared the gentleman who to this day is very much my Lobster (thank you, Phoebe Buffay).

Not to say he didn’t bring his share of flaws into the union as well – who doesn’t?

But with genuine respect and love for each other and a dogged determination to trade life’s blows for forged in the fire strength, here we are on the cusp of year 17, bound by a love of irreplaceable depth and loyalty.

At this point, you don’t take your partner for granted. You pray for his well-being, prioritize his self-care as much as your own, and gladly make the time – as much as it takes and regardless of what has to wait while you give him your undivided attention – because he deserves that and because you want to do it.

You share enough history to know – needing no further assurance – that no matter what happens, be it financial windfalls or droughts, whether health is abundant or in the hands of Christ, if career paths yield exhilarating wins or crushing blows, and when every possible form of proverbial s*** hits the fan, there is nothing you cannot overcome together.

It no longer matters how close-knit or fleeting your broader friend group becomes, because the very best friend you could ever hope for already wears your ring, inscribed with the words that define your union as well now as they ever have:

Partners 1-4-3.

In deepest love and appreciation for the one I think about all throughout my Yacht Rock playlist,

R.C.W.

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